by Aliza Kline, Mayyim Hayyim Founding Executive Director

In my few remaining weeks in Israel (just under four at my last count), I am busier than ever supporting burgeoning community mikvaot in Israel. Last week I spent a day at Mikveh Sh’maya, the “spiritual, educational and ritual” mikveh directed by Rabbi Dr. Haviva Ner David at Kibbutz Hannaton, in the lower Galilee.

Mayyim Hayyim is a model for what Haviva is creating at Kibbutz Hannaton; the two of us have been sharing ideas and working together for the past few years.  I encouraged her to reach out to potential stakeholders to assemble the beginnings of a leadership team.  She invited interested kibbutz members, artists, educators from the Hannaton Education Center and Or HaLev (light of the heart) meditation / spiritual center, area Reform and Masorti (Conservative) rabbis, and educators from Nigun Nashim, (the song of women), a pluralistic women’s beit midrash (learning center).

The reception area at the mikveh, where we met, was full of women and men representing a wide range of Israeli Jewish affiliation.  When asked to share their motivation for coming to this meeting, each articulated the value of mikveh with personal or organizational stories. They agreed it is an untapped resource—despite the significant numbers who come to immerse or study here, at least 1,422 immersions in the past three years.

For this diverse group, meeting is a first and important step just by identifying others who share their interest in mikveh. The next step is to encourage them, and the constituency they represent, to feel a sense of ownership and obligation toward the mikveh.  This means financial support for sure, but it also means collaborating on setting policy, on creating engaging curricula, on referring friends and colleagues to visi. It also means becoming a mikveh guide.

At Mayyim Hayyim we began by reaching out to distinct groups: clergy, clinicians, artists, educators and those who’d become Jewish through conversion.  Each group helped create the role of mikveh guide, set the standards for our gallery, or crafted our immersion ceremonies.

I remain convinced, after Mayyim Hayyim’s eight years of operations, that the key to creating a true community mikveh is to reflect back the needs of each visitor rather than dictating what the immersion experience must be. The mikveh guides teach the rest of us how to hold sacred space, how to care for each visitor with sensitivity and warmth, sometimes by staying close to the immersee, sometimes by becoming invisible.  At Mayyim Hayyim we have 135 volunteers who have been selected, trained and supported.  They represent the full diversity of the Jewish people: gender, race, denomination, age, marital status and sexual identity and there is no doubt that Mayyim Hayyim is theirs.

Mikveh Sh’maya is unique in Israel; thanks to Haviva’s leadership it has become a place where visitors feel comfortable and safe. Being on a kibbutz in the North provides important distance from the Orthodox rabbinical monopoly (which extends to mikveh supervision and staff).  On kibbutz, members are in fact owners of all of the buildings, whether religious or secular, and many are proud of their mikveh.  The challenge is understanding the potential beyond the kibbutz.

If the stakeholders become partners, then more and more Reform and Masorti conversion candidates will immerse here, more and more couples will come before weddings or commitment ceremonies, more and more “ruchani” (or spiritual) Jews will seek it out to explore this ancient custom and make it their own, more and more observant women will prefer immersing monthly here, more and more artists will find inspiration and God willing, more and more will seek to volunteer as Mikveh Guides.

The group assembled last week was struggling with the structure of Mikveh Sh’maya. Can it accomplish its goals while remaining a part of the kibbutz? Must it become an independent organization to reach its potential? How would it do that and still honor the kibbutz members who’ve been supporting it? Could they become self-sustaining?

While figuring out these critical questions – I encourage my friends at Mikveh Sh’maya (and any burgeoning mikveh) to transform interested clergy, educators and like-minded organizations to become real partners.  The more you ask, the more people do; the more you empower, the more people give. The more they give, the more they get – educationally, personally, institutionally and spiritually.

Aliza Kline, Founding Executive Director, has led Mayyim Hayyim from its initial stages, overseeing fund raising, publicity, design, construction, staffing, recruiting volunteers, and board development. In May, 2009, Aliza was awarded an AVI CHAI Fellowship (best described as the “Jewish MacArthur Genius Grant”) in recognition of her accomplishments, creativity and commitment to the Jewish people.

I was pretty nervous – I had never been “in” a mikveh – not to mention, it was the night before my wedding!

As my father and I drove up to the mikveh that Saturday night, I prepared by thinking about my life – what I was happy about, what I wanted to change and how blessed I was to have found my soul-mate.

Since the bride and groom experience the wedding day as a mini-Yom Kippur, a day when we become a tabula rasa (a clean slate), I knew that these waters were transforming me.

When I came out of the water, I felt renewed, refreshed, and excited to begin my life anew with my wonderful bride.

This week we will celebrate a holiday which parallels a wedding:  Shavuot.  According to the tradition, Shavuot is the marriage between God and the Jewish people.  Here, the ketubah (the wedding contract) is the Torah which lists the obligations that the people have to God and vice versa.

Before the actual moment of revelation, the Torah adds an interesting detail: “Moshe went down from the mountain to the people and warned the people to stay pure, and they washed their clothes.”  (Exodus 19:14)

To what might this be parallel?  To me it feels a bit like immersing in the mikveh before one gets married.  While washing our clothes and immersing our bodies are quite different (How much water was there in the wilderness?), both reflect a way to use water to prepare for a transformative moment.

Preparing for significant moments, for holy moments, by washing or immersion has continued throughout the tradition.

For thousands of years, the Levites (members of the Hebrew tribe of Levi) have washed  the hands and feet of the Kohanim (Priests) before they recite Birkat Kohanim (the Priestly Benediction).  Immersing in a mikveh before a wedding, Shabbat, the High Holy Days, or holidays follows this pattern.

The waters of the mikveh help transform us whether we are renewing our intimate relationship with our partners, recovering from illness, mourning a miscarriage, preparing for a holiday or joining the Jewish people.

When I was installed as the rabbi of Temple Emunah eight years ago, I sought a meaningful way to prepare for this momentous occasion.  As part of my own preparations, I made an appointment to visit Mayyim Hayyim and immerse in the mikveh.

As I walked down the seven steps, I thought about the obligations I was taking on – the great challenges and blessings that were going to wash over me.  Each time the waters closed above my head, a feeling of completeness and readiness filled my soul.

When I emerged, I was ready to assume my responsibilities.

However we prepare for Sinai or for the healing work we all need throughout our lives, may the mayyim hayyim, the living waters of the mikveh, renew our spirits and may we prepare ourselves to once again stand at Sinai and hear God’s call.

Rabbi David Lerner has served as the spiritual leader of  Temple Emunah in historic Lexington, Massachusetts since 2004.  A graduate of the Jewish Theological Seminary’s Rabbinical School, where he was awarded a Wexner Graduate Fellowship, Rabbi Lerner is the president of the New England Rabbinical Assembly, the co-chair of the Rabbinical Assembly’s Commission on Keruv, Conversion and Jewish Peoplehood and is a vice-president of the Massachusetts Board of Rabbis.  His articles have appeared in Judaism, Conservative Judaism, the Jewish Week (NY), the Boston Jewish Advocate, the Chicago Jewish News, and the Jewish United Fund News.   

by Jamie Bornstein

Each night Carrie and I settle into our familiar routine. Dinner, kid bedtime, clean up dinner, adult parallel play (each of us sitting on the couch with our laptops catching up on work), Seinfeld at 11 pm, and sleep.

“Before”

by Lisa Berman

Mayyim Hayyim has been open for eight years now. We’re officially not a “baby” organization anymore. We don’t even feel like a start-up any longer; we have confidence and things run pretty smoothly, if we do say so ourselves.  Just as kids have a big new world opened up to them when they begin to walk, talk, and socialize, organizations such as Mayyim Hayyim have challenges with continued growth and expansion when in their second stage or “mezzanine” phase.

Our Education Center is a busy place with over 110 programs led each year for 2500+ youth, adult learners, families, young professionals, and seminary students, among others. Some days it seems like we’d have to be crazy to want to get even bigger. But we do; after all, we look forward to the day when every Sisterhood, Hadassah chapter, and chaplain group in the Boston area has already been to an introductory educational program about mikveh and Mayyim Hayyim.

But how to grow optimally… new programming? New congregation connections? Unique new ways to convey how we are a visionary organization? Yes to all, of course. But one great way to generate ideas is bring in new thinkers — to convene a fantastic group of area Jewish educators and lay leaders and ask them to think creatively with us. And so… introducing… the newly formed Paula Brody & Family Education Center Advisory Committee.

I was a little anxious when I sent out the invitation to two dozen of the area’s best, brightest, and nicest Jewish educators and lay leaders. After all, everyone’s busy; who would want to be on yet another dreaded committee? But within just a few hours we had our committee. Honestly, who gets these kinds of responses when asked to be on a committee? “This sounds like a great opportunity and I would be honored to participate.”  “Happy to do so”. “Count me in.” “Thank you for thinking of me. It would be my pleasure to serve.” “I would be delighted to serve on the Advisory Committee at Mayyim Hayyim!” “I am touched to be asked to join this group. It will be my pleasure to accept.” “I would love to!”

The group includes dedicated Mayyim Hayyim Board of Trustees members, superstar area educators in congregational, day school, and summer program settings, clergy from multiple denominations as well as master teachers. It’s an inspiring group, one that will have no trouble at all helping us to grow and achieve new heights of experiential education opportunities in this area and beyond.  And if you’re on this committee and are reading this, here’s a little secret – you’re included not just because you’re smart and thoughtful, but perhaps most importantly because we think you are a pleasure to spend time brainstorming with. Stay tuned for the results of our June 5 inaugural gathering of the Paula Brody & Family Education Center Awesome and Enjoyable Advisory Committee. Pretzels, animals crackers, and chocolate will be on the house.

With heartfelt thanks to Joel Alter, Daniel Berman, Paula Brody, Braham David, Judy Elkin, Roz Garber Toledano, Sheila Goldberg, Wayne Goldstein, Rachel Happel, Yael Hurwitz-Lange, Debbie Kardon Schwartz, Alison Kur, Joe Reimer, Rachel Silverman, Jennifer Slifka Vidal, and Louise Treitman for their willingness to lend wit and wisdom to this cause.

Lisa Berman is the Director of the  Paula Brody & Family Education Center Director at Mayyim Hayyim. She would love to hear from you if you are interested in bringing a group to learn about mikveh, if you have a great new idea for the Center, or if you would like to get involved with Mayyim Hayyim. LisaB@MayyimHayyim.org.

By Carol Targum

During my daughter-in-law’s pregnancy, a lot of my friends told me that being a grandparent was the icing on the cake, the interest on the principal, the absolute best.

It sounded wonderful.

But in the last few weeks before the birth of my first grandchild, I began to think beyond the pure excitement of becoming a grandmother. I thought about the miracle of birth itself.  I remembered how, so many years ago, my body had given birth to the boy who was about to become a father.  And I thought about my daughter-in-law, about to join the endless chain of women who know this amazing experience.

On the snowy night my granddaughter was born, I was there to see her as she was wheeled out of the labor room — healthy and beautiful and perfect. I was filled with a sense of pure love and I knew I would remember that moment forever.

I wanted to express my feelings, all the hopes and dreams within me, and somehow proclaim this special and wondrous transition. I decided the way for me to do this was by immersing in the mikveh.

I asked my daughter-in-law to witness my immersion at Mayyim Hayyim and six weeks later she was there, standing on the pool deck with Lucy in her arms.

I immersed to acknowledge the blessing of being part of the marvel of l’dor v’dor, generation to generation, the ongoing cycle of life. I prayed to be fully present for Lucy; to give her what was best and pure in me, to teach her Jewish values, and to open my heart so that I could learn from her.

Gazing upward, I saw sweet baby Lucy looking back at me, her loving mother’s eyes filled with tears.

I felt soothed and calm as I emerged from the water, filled with joy at becoming a grandmother and feeling connected to those who came before me and those who would follow.

Immersing allowed me to express everything that was in my heart and an ancient ritual had become my own very personal prayer.

Carol Targum is a trained mikveh guide and educator and a member of the Mayyim Hayyim Board of Directors.

by Leah Hart Tennen, Mikveh Center Director

When my three-year-old son, Lev, hears the word “birthday”, he says, “It’s MY birthday”. It feels a little bit mean to tell a small child that not only is it not his birthday, but it won’t be for a very long time, but I understand the reaction. Until fairly recently, I felt that the world revolved around my own birthday.  I was always looking forward to the next celebration, barely pausing to let the current age sink in.  If asked, “How old are you?” I often responded, “I’ll be ___ in March”.  I might have even said that in April! I was clearly very future-oriented.  My point of view has shifted quite a bit since becoming a parent.  My birthday seems hardly significant compared to those of my children (or compared to Mothers’ Day!) and while not much thought has been given to birthday parties yet, I have found myself reflecting upon the past—looking at pictures of them from birth onward, remembering a favorite outfit or a funny facial expression—from a completely different lens.

I took an informal survey to see what some of my colleagues remembered about their 8^th birthdays or the 8^th birthdays of their children.  I got some not-so-surprising answers:  roller skating party (does that even exist today?), scavenger hunt, superhero theme, etc.  One staff member recalled a McDonald’s birthday party during Pesach without cake and with hamburgers served without buns, and my sister remembered one too many birthdays being celebrated much later due to their coinciding with Yom Kippur. Personally, I have a vague recollection of a slumber party with a “late night” (probably 7:30 pm) trip to the ice cream parlor.

What is the significance of being eight?  For some kids, eight might feel very big.  Many eight-year-olds take a bus to school, ride a bike or swim unassisted.  For some parents, however, eight might still feel very young, as their “baby” still needs help cutting up their food or may still crawl into their bed in the middle of the night.

Mayyim Hayyim is now eight. When compared to other organizations, eight might feel very young—like we’re still a “baby”.  To others, however, eight might feel more grown up.  Every day, week, and especially every year, we get smarter and better at what we do, creating a warm and welcoming space for people to immerse and mark transitions.  Two weeks ago we celebrated 10,000 immersions.  In eight years.  That’s over 1200 immersions a year.  I don’t know about you, but that feels pretty grown up to me!  Happy birthday, Mayyim Hayyim!

Leah Hart Tennen, Mikveh Center Director, was eight a long time ago.  Her older son, Lev, will be eight in five years and her younger son, Eli, will be eight in seven and a half years. She likes strawberry cake with vanilla frosting.

by Pam McArthur

On Friday afternoons, the week begins to fall behind me, its sticky fingers of busyness letting go, one by one. On Friday afternoons, the joyful promise of Shabbat fills the air as the sun dips low to the horizon. On Friday afternoons, you’ll most likely find me at Mayyim Hayyim.

Here, the air is thick with the breath and memory of all who have come over the years, with reverberations of joy and healing, loss and peace. I step inside to warm welcome and warm waters.

I have been coming here ever since Mayyim Hayyim opened its doors. Friday afternoons stitch one week to the next until they thread together a year. And another. And another. Almost eight years now, flowing together. Each Friday is its own: glowing summer sun radiant in the high window, or thin dribble of winter light; forget-me-nots in the garden, or fall’s brilliance of maples – each week is different, and each week I am different.

Some weeks I play and splash in the water, others I slip quietly below the surface with just the smallest ripples over my head. I may fill the room with song (what fun to send my voice up the high walls as if lifting to Heaven!) or with silence and breath. I may come with questions and confusion, or with faith and joy. Sometimes I can quiet my thoughts and simply lift up my prayer. Other times my mind chatters non-stop, unable to turn off even as I say words of prayer and blessing.

Always, though, I begin with a slow step into the water. Step, step. Breathe deep. Step, step. Feel the letting go. Step, step, step into the deep and lift my prayer. Thank you, God, for the work of this week, work for my hands, my head, my heart and soul. Let me learn from it — and let it go. Thank you, God, for the coming Shabbat, time to rest, time to turn myself more fully toward You. Please watch over my loved ones; bring them peace. Ahhh. Dip three times, baruch atah (Blessed are You)… you make us holy in these waters.

Always – always! – I emerge at peace. This is the awesome power of a body in sacred waters: always it moves me toward wholeness. Always I am opened, and joyful, and turned toward Shabbat. What a blessing.

As Mayyim Hayyim marks 10,000 immersions — wow! — I say thank you to all who envision, create, and sustain this beautiful, sacred space. I trust that you know what a gift you are giving to us. Todah rabah – thank you!

Pam McArthur lives in Framingham with her wife, Beth, and their son, Aaron. They are long-time members of Congregation Beth El of the Sudbury River Valley. Of Mayyim Hayyim’s 10,000 immersions, Pam holds the record for the greatest number of immersions by any one person. She first experienced the transformation that can happen in the mikveh twelve years ago, when she became a Jew. “I still sometimes can’t believe how lucky I am! Mah yafa yerushateinu – how beautiful is our heritage. I am blessed by Judaism’s traditions and creative, renewing energy.”

As my time at Mayyim Hayyim comes to a close, I’ve been thinking a lot about why I love this organization. Here are the top 5 reasons (in no particular order) why this is such a great environment to be a part of.

1.  Sounds of Joy- It is typical for a workday to be “interrupted” by sounds of joy downstairs as someone converts or marks a special transition in their life.  It is not unusual to hear clapping and singing come seemingly from out of nowhere. Constantly hearing sounds of rejoicing brings to life the joy and comfort that people describe after immersing at Mayyim Hayyim.

Madeline Mayer

2. Helping to make a community for all- In the modern Jewish world there is much effort to make the Jewish community a more welcoming place for everyone.  All too often I hear men and women remark about how horrible their conversion experiences were many years ago.  Mayyim Hayyim helps to ensure that people’s transitions to Judaism are as meaningful and welcoming as possible.  No longer shall someone be rushed as they find the courage to take the final step in joining the Jewish faith. At Mayyim Hayyim, people are encouraged to take their time preparing to immerse and have a mikveh guide there for comfort and to answer any questions they may have. Mayyim Hayyim provides a welcoming place for all members of the Jewish community.

3. Working with a great group of women- Mayyim Hayyim’s staff cares deeply about ensuring that the organization runs as successfully as possible.  All of the women in the office are dedicated to their work and ensuring the future of the mikveh. There are constant celebrations, from staff birthdays to welcoming new staff members, that make Mayyim Hayyim an incredibly meaningful and supportive community to be a part of.

4. Beautiful Environment- Walking into Mayyim Hayyim each day is a joy because of the beauty of the building—inside and out.  As you approach the old Victorian home where our organization is housed you initially see beautiful landscaping– in the spring and summer there are an array of flowers in bloom. When you walk in the doors there is a serene entrance that makes one feel at home.  In addition, there is a rotating art exhibit in our gallery that provides a new feel to the Paula Brody & Family Education Center every few months.  The artwork is always different and adds a new vibe to the surrounding.

5. Learning about an ancient ritual- Lastly, it is such an honor to learn about an ancient ritual that I may not have ever learned had I not been introduced to Mayyim Hayyim. Mayyim Hayyim provides learning opportunities for people of all ages. Adults and children learn about mikveh each year because of the education programs that Mayyim Hayyim offers.

As I begin my first full-time job post-grad school, I will cherish these reasons that made my graduate internship at Mayyim Hayyim so wonderful.

Madeline Mayer hails from Leawood, KS.  Later this month, she will complete her master’s degree with the Hornstein Jewish Professional Leadership Program at Brandeis University. She has been at Mayyim Hayyim since June and is working in development. Next year, Madeline will serve as the Development/Alumni Associate at Camp Ramah in New England.

by Sarah Chandler

Once there was a young girl named Shalvi who lived by a magic stream. These waters could mend a broken heart, repair a shattered limb, and even heal grave illnesses. The individual need only immerse completely in the waters in order to unlock their magic.

And yet, many visitors left with their ailments intact, as they found the task too difficult to achieve.

Shalvi noticed that usually the individual needed to return on several occasions in order to experience a complete healing.

Shalvi would often watch those from near and far approach the stream, seeking relief from their suffering. As she grew older, she came to learn the ways of the waters. With a deep understanding of their healing powers, she began to advise the visitors on their immersion technique.  There was a slight bend in the water that flowed over a hidden area deep enough for a full immersion. It soon became clear that whenever Shalvi was present, the ailing person would be sure to leave with a complete healing.

After some time, the point of immersion in the magic river came to be known as “Shalvi’s Rock.” Townspeople and travelers called upon her and she would emerge from her small stone house to instruct them.

A teary-eyed gentleman arrived one day when Shalvi was nowhere to be found. For weeks and months, the visitors could no longer access the magic of the waters by Shalvi’s Rock. Years later, as the river continued to flow strong and the vines grew up the side of her house, the location of Shalvi’s Rock was forgotten.

The text of this week’s Torah portion describes the ancient Yom Kippur ritual of the high priest atoning for the sins of the entire people. However, in modern times, we are each personally responsible for taking ourselves through the steps of transformation.

Where in your life are you putting energy into relying on others where you could be relying on yourself? Where might you be blaming others and holding resentment when you could be taking personal responsibility for your needs and feelings?

When you give yourself the gift of time and space for a ritual immersion, you may collaborate with attendants or community members. However, at the moment of immersion, you are completely on your own. Only you can take those steps, only you can spread your fingers and toes, only you can open your heart in that moment.

Shalvi’s Rock reminds us that increased reliance on outside forces takes us out of our body, causing us to gradually rely more and more on outside resources, experts and gurus. As we recall the priestly rituals once performed on our behalf, let us also recall that we are a mamlechet kohanim, a kingdom of priests – each with the power to take ourselves through the transformation that we need. May we each find direction from many sources, bringing inside those that nourish and sustain us.

Sarah Chandler, the Associate Director of Adamah Farm at Isabella Freedman, is a Jewish experiential educator, community activist, spiritual leader, and blogger. From 2005-2009, Sarah served as the Director of Jewish Family Life & Learning (JoyFuLL) at West End Synagogue: A Reconstructionist Congregation. She has her M.A. in Jewish Communal and Experiential Education and Hebrew Bible from the Jewish Theological Seminary, and serves as educator with the Teva Learning Center and the Kohenet Institute. She is currently participating in the second cohort of Jewish Mindfulness Teacher Training with the Institute for Jewish Spirituality. Visit isabellafreedman.org for upcoming farmstays, meditation retreats, and other opportunities.

It happened.

With balloons, family, pictures, and laughter.

Our ten thousandth immersion.

Ten thousand.

Just the sound of it is impressive.  I’ll say it again: ten thousand.

One-by-one we counted. Reaching such a milestone, we can’t help but reflect.  What does it mean for a mikveh to have touched so many lives? How is the landscape of Jewish Boston different because of the widespread support of a dream?

In some ways, the enormity of 10,000 is hard to comprehend.

And in other ways, it’s simple.  The answer is in the stories, that each of these 10,000 immersions contains a person’s real-life experience.  A person just like you and me: The bride awaiting her big day with nervous excitement.  A father who can’t believe his baby is going off to college.  The couple suffering through yet another miscarriage.  A woman trying out monthly immersion in a way that feels safe to her.

And so we pause, in this moment between past and future.  We celebrate our ten thousandth immersion: Charlotte, a girl becoming a Bat Mitzvah at Temple Beth Zion in Brookline.  This isn’t her first visit to Mayyim Hayyim.  It isn’t even her second.  She first came here as an eight-year old when her mother converted to Judaism.  She and her sister immersed too, to formalize and affirm their Jewish identity.  That same day, her other mother immersed in celebration that they were finally all one Jewish family together.  Months later Charlotte accompanied her sister as she immersed before her Bat Mitzvah.  And in 2012, here they are again.

Their story is extraordinary.  And yet, at Mayyim Hayyim, it is completely normal.  At ten thousand, we recognize that the dream is now a reality.  That 135 sensitive volunteer Mikveh Guides, a community of supporters, and daring foundations have made it all happen.  That opening up Jewish ritual to the entirety of the Jewish people, and welcoming them in on their own terms, allows each person to feel exactly what we intended, that “we built this place for you.”

Looking back also helps us look forward.  Our work is far from complete and we have exciting plans in store.  Onwards and upwards: to 20,000!

Carrie Bornstein is Mayyim Hayyim’s Acting Executive Director.  Follow her on twitter@carolinering.